ALWAYS SMILE.
5 SIMPLE WAYS TO BEAT INSECURITY
.Insecurity is the underlying emotion that shapes our self image and influences our behavior...Most people suffer from insecurity either by thinking they are not good enough or that they are not good enough.You can only get over this problem only if you want to because nobody focuses on yourself more than you.
Beating your insecurities is not an easy battle,as there are many things that cause them and they are constantly reinforced by daily events.Thankfully,there is a way to beat your weakness and becoming more confident.That being said,read on to find out ways to recognize and beat your insecurity...
1. FIND THE ROOT
Think about what makes you lack confidence.Do you think your not pretty or handsome?Do you think your clothes aren't nice?Do you think your body isn't nice because people don't alway compliment you?
Think of where these thoughts come from..There maybe certain events in your life that has made you the less of yourself.Lets say that there was a time when you used to be insulted or made fun of because of how you looked or because of the clothes you wore and since then you began to feel inadequate.Once you find the root of your problem it would be much easier to to get a handle on your insecurity,because it was most likely caused by one or two isolated events in your life that are not important to your current life.Once you find out when your insecurity started it will immediately become more manageable.
2.MAKE YOUR PROBLEMS LESS IMPORTANT
Once you have identified the incidents that made you feel less of yourself,think of why those events don't prove anything about your life as a whole and then think about the times in your life that prove the opposite
Don't focus so much on your lack of achievement when your friends or colleagues are complimented for their dressing and not you.Rather,think of the time when you were complimented for your good looks and dressing.Identifying your successes remind you of how important you are.This will help you celebrate other peoples successes and patiently wait for your turn at success.
3.STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS
It is easy to become insecure by continuously comparing yourself to other people who are seemingly strong or flawless.For example if you compare yourself to a friend who seems to have nice clothes and can dress beautifully you may come out feeling awkward in public.But what you don't know is that this friend has his own problems that he has to deal with.Instead of focusing on how to stack up against him focus on how to improve your dress sense.Now get out there and sell yourself.
If you can't measure up to your friends,try and measure up to your strengths.It can be equally as treacherous to compare yourself to your friends. For example, when you see your friend — whose downfalls and ineptitudes you are familiar with — succeed, you might end up feeling threatened and insecure about your own abilities. If your friend knows how to dress up beautifully, you might feel jealousy toward him instead of admiration, as you would for a stranger. Don’t begrudge your friend in his time of glory; rather, take it as an ego boost that you’re hanging out with the fashionista, which can only mean good things about you.
4.DEVELOP YOUR OWN STRENGTHS
A lot of your insecurities come from focusing on the things that you have trouble with. The truth is that everybody has strong and weak points, but successful individuals have learned how to play up their good points — a skill that has helped them flourish. Despite your insecurities, you have achieved a certain level of success in your life because you have great qualities. It's your job to pinpoint and foster those qualities and build a successful life.
Take those qualities, learn to focus on them and remember that there are more ways to use your set of skills than you think. Although you’re unsure about your ability to dress up, but you know that you can make people feel good because of your insight. Perhaps you’re nervous about giving a presentation to your colleagues at school because you’re not very good at making anecdotes or using metaphors. What you seem to forget is that you know the project inside and out; focus on that and answer all of your colleagues questions before they ask them. Remembering what you can do will give you the confidence not to choke under pressure.
5.PUT YOUR INSECURITIES BEHIND YOU
Once you’re aware that your strengths and weaknesses will balance out in the end, forget about what you lack and draw on where you rock the competition. If you fumbled today at school, remind yourself of your top presentation for the past three months. You can always enhance your weaker points at a later date.
If you find that you’re focusing on your insecurities, think of the faults that other people have and how they’re able to get around them or just remind yourself of all the things that you’ve achieved in life. The more you focus on your strengths, the more they’ll be visible to others. In the end you’ll not only be happier, but you’ll be more successful.
securing your insecurity
The bottom line for beating your insecurities is this: Everyone has them and the key to success is to identify them, invalidate them and move past them. Focus on your accomplishments and recognize that insecurities are usually irrational fears of inadequacy. Your faults are no more visible or detrimental to your success than anyone else’s, unless you let them get the better of you. Failure tends to be a self-fulfilling prophecy: If you worry that you will fail, your performance will lack and turn your ruminations into a reality.-Aiyann
THE CONSEQUENCES OF HATRED
Hatred is a very strong feeling of dislike for something or somebody...It is also a deep feeling of aversion or reversion.In this sense, it is a running away from something in a very profound way. It is also an ego trait that is very common in human beings.
Hatred
is a way to shut down the mind to a degree, in order to handle overwhelming
stress or trauma. One simply says
“No” to the situation or person, and this revulsion or rejection is called
hatred. In this regard, hatred is
always a generalization and a false conclusion.
Another word for it may be prejudice, which takes a few incidents or
qualities or a person or group or something else and then generalizes from
it. Hatred is of this nature.
Our minds are designed to reason inductively. This means we can take a few facts, and
we can generalize and draw conclusions based upon them. This is an important mental
faculty. However, if the faculty
is not well balanced with deductive reasoning and wisdom,which is a quality of
doubting, confirming and re-affirming our conclusions, we often end up with
judgment and then it turns easily to strong aversion and hatred.
We have seen people eaten up by their hatred towards other people and things.Sometimes or if not all the time hatred stops us from accepting opportunities or favors from others.Hatred makes us detach ourselves from people or ideas that we want to detach from.Other times,we might hate ourselves because of habits we have formed or because of the mistakes we have made.If we can forgive ourselves of our mistakes and learn to quit some habits we can stop our self hatred and also reduce our hatred for others.If we can stop hating others,often,we can stop hating ourselves.Most times,we hate God because certain things we want don't usually come to us or our way.We choose to blame God for these things forgetting that He has a reason for all his doing and he knows when the time is write.
Hatred can cost us a lot of things such as our sanity,our lives,our friends and family and our happiness.When hatred is unacceptable to the mind, one gets Stockholm syndrome.
Stockholm
syndrome is a way that the mind twists the facts or reality to make it more pleasant
or acceptable. Read more about it
in the article entitled Stockholm Syndrome.Here
are some steps to letting go of hatred:
1. See or admit that you are full of hatred and anger. You cannot get rid of it if you will
not admit it is there, at least to some degree. Listen to others who tell you about your anger and
hatred. Do not ignore this
counsel.
2. Try to catch yourself in your anger and hatred. This is tricky to do, as the mind will
disguise it, for example, with excuses or offhand phrases like “he’s really
such a jerk”. Employing foul
language to describe someone or something is a way that many people subtly
express hatred, by the way.
3. When you catch yourself in these phrases, words or actions, stop
yourself, realizing it is wrong and it just feeds your hatred and anger. Ask others in your life to assist you
with this, and do not hate them for pointing out your tendency or your
words. The hater’s response is to
simply say that others are “out to get you”, “trying to control you” or similar
ideas. Stay away from this
tendency to project or blame others who point out your anger and hatred.
4. Instead of falling to the temptation to hate and judge, work on
describing the person or situation in rational, mature, adult language. Do not just curse at him or it, and do
not gloss over bad behavior, for example in the manner of the Stockholm
syndrome. In the latter, bad behavior
is viewed as okay in order that one should not feel too uncomfortable.
5. Take action rather than harbor hatred. Do what needs to be done, preferably in an even-handed and
open-minded way. Learn how to “be
strong, but not wrong” to quote Mr. Roy Masters. Do what you must do in the situation if someone has wronged
you, for example.
6. Roy Masters states that one must often meditate properly (a form of
active prayer) in order to catch oneself in subtle hatreds. His meditative practice slowly brings
up original causes - in their own order and in the mind’s own timing to heal
it. Meditation also slows and
calms the mind, bringing more reality to your thinking and feeling. All of these benefits, he says, thus
help remove hatred and resentment.
7. A final step is asking the Creator or God to intervene in your life
and remove your hatred, as it is something that most people cannot do on their
own. This is how deep and how
difficult hatred is to remove from the minds of most people.
Preventing Hatred From Taking A Hold On You
This
can be difficult, especially if you experience rape, murder in your family,
severe illness, or other crimes or unexplainable events. The mind simply does not tolerate these
very well and looks for ways to judge them and put them in little cubbyholes
called hatreds. Christian thinking can help. This is a type of mental efforting that emphasizes forgiveness in the moment, if at
all possible. Having wise and
mature parents and older adults around you at all times is also extremely
helpful. Another help is reading
the Bible or other spiritual books that openly discuss the evils of harboring
negative thoughts and feelings toward others.
-Aiyann
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